


No Safe Word

by aileenxlopez



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Apocalypse
Genre: American Horror Story - Freeform, Angst, BDSM, Consent, Consent Issues, F/F, Kissing, One Shot, Powerplay, Reader-Insert, Sex, Smut, alternative universe, soft, you - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:54:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28338024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aileenxlopez/pseuds/aileenxlopez
Summary: Consent issues that somehow lead to smut. Because deep down Wilhelmina is a big softy who loves power-plays but she loves you more than anything else in this world.
Relationships: Wilhemina Venable - Relationship, Wilhemina Venable/You, Wilhemina/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	No Safe Word

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warnings: explicit sexual content, consent issues, food, lot of angst but also smut and very soft Mina 
> 
> Y/N = your name

You met Wilhemina Venable in a bar, after you had a horrible day at work. You just started your PhD program and you needed to earn money, which usually meant working long hours, while writing and researching early in the morning and the night. You absolutely hated your boss, he was a sexist white old dude who always explained the world to you, or well he tried, pretending you were the dumbest girl just because you were on of the youngest in the firm. But it was a job that didn’t look as bad on your CV as the bar jobs that you used to do in the middle of the night, and it brought good enough money for you to get through the month and pay your bills and rent. 

You never had a serious relationship, not really, you weren’t really able to commit and you just put all of your energy into your career, or whatever the thing you did was. You also didn’t really have a stable home, so you had no idea what real love even was until you met Wilhemina. It took you both a while to get used to each other, in the sense that you needed so much reassurance with everything and Wilhemina wasn’t the best in communicating. But eventually you got there, you’ve been dating for over two years now and the age gap was never an issue, while she was almost double your age, it just fit perfectly. 

You weren’t a virgin when you met Wilhemina, but you didn’t know much about all the different things you could do in the bedroom until you met her. It usually was more a power-play than anything else, but you loved it, it never was degrading, nor did she ever make you feel anything but loved, in some twisted way or the other. You always made sure that you both were asking for consent over and over again but somehow this night just felt different, it felt off. 

You came home from work later than you were anticipating, you were stressed, and you just felt horrible, because your boss was making his usual sexist jokes and made you feel worthless. He tried to touch you again, a brush over your arm here, a brush over your hair there. And on top of that you were starving, you didn’t have time for breakfast nor lunch and you just wanted to come home eat dinner, take a bath and wash off this horrible day but Wilhemina had other plans. So, you forgot about what you wanted to do, because you always wanted her to feel happy and loved. 

“You are disgusting Y/N. Of course, nobody loves you, who would ever?” Wilhemina spat out, while chocking you. 

Again, you were used to that kind of power-play but today, today it just made you feel horrible about yourself and her words hurt. But you also didn’t have the energy to use your safe word nor did you feel worthy enough for her to stop anyway. All that self-hatred you bottled up years ago, somehow found its way back this night. And you just wanted to finally cum and eat dinner and just forget this day, so you didn’t say anything. 

Wilhemina slapped you across the face, looking you right into your eyes, and her eyes were so cold, “why are you so useless? You can’t even make me feel good.” 

She kept rubbing your clit, choking you again and you just shut your eyes. Your legs shut close and you came, without really making a sound. In any other situation, Wilhemina would have been mad at you for coming without her allowing it, but you just laid there, not moving, eyes closed. 

“Y/N?” 

You didn’t move for a while and you didn’t hear Wilhemina the first time. 

“Princess, can you open your eyes for me?” she tried again. 

Your eyes shot open, tears already pooling in your eyes. 

“What’s wrong sweetheart?” she asks, her voice soft. 

Wilhemina tried to stroke your cheek, but you flinched. You grabbed the covers to cover yourself, suddenly feeling too naked, too exposed, too exhausted. 

“Y/N, talk to me princess, what’s going on in that little head of yours?” Mina tries again. 

In that little head of yours. In that little head of yours. In that little head of yours. In that little head of yours. In that little head of yours. In that little head of yours. In that little head of yours. In that little head of yours. In that little head of yours. In that little head of yours. In that little head of yours. In that little head of yours. In that little head of yours. In that little head of yours. 

You kept repeating in your head, over and over again. 

She tries to touch you again, trying to shake you out of your thoughts. 

“Don’t you dare touch me,” you spat out. 

You were never angry with her. You were always the one communicating but not tonight. And suddenly Wilhemina felt horrible too, she set down next to you in your bed, putting a lot of distance between the two of you. 

Wilhemina wasn’t really the one to cry a lot but when it came to you, she really was the most loving, and caring person. She was softer around you, she was more in tune with her emotions, at least sometimes. 

“Y/N, please talk to me sweetheart. Please,” she was almost begging, you never heard her beg. 

“Do you really think that I am dumb and useless?” you rasp out, tears falling down your cheeks. 

Wilhemina wanted to reach out, wipe away your tears, take you into her arms but she knew better than that. 

“Baby, no. No, why would you even say that?” Wilhemina says, so quietly and suddenly your heart shatters even more. It wasn’t only her fault, you didn’t communicate either but yet, you still felt horrible. 

Wilhemina tried to take your hand, but you flinched again. 

“Y/N, are you scared of me?” 

“You said that nobody could ever love me, and I thought you did, I thought you loved me,” you whisper. 

“I am sorry my love, I was so in the moment, and we are always doing these kinds of powerplays and I thought you wanted to keep going. I am so sorry that I didn’t ask again. I am so sorry. You are not hard to love. I love you, so so much,” Wilhemina says, tears rolling down her cheeks too now. 

You finally turn around, facing her but you still cannot make yourself reach out and touch her. You just looked at her, the first time what felt like a lifetime for the both of you.  
You were always touching at home, always being close, Wilhemina at home with you, was a different Wilhemina than anybody else got to see. 

“I am really sorry; you have to believe me Y/N.” 

“I had a horrible day you know. My boss hates me, I am not worthy enough to work for him apparently and I am too stupid too stupid with that little head of mine. Everyone there hates me, everyone thinks they can just use me in some way or the other. Mina, I hate it there. I hate everything about them, the way they always degrade me and try to touch me… I just I can’t Mina, I just can’t,” you rambled, forgetting to breathe. 

“Baby girl, you need to calm down. Hey, breathe, in and out. Do it for me okay?” Wilhemina says worried. “Hey, look at me, focus on me. Do you want to put your hand on my heart? I won’t touch you. I promise.” 

And you did, you took your shaky hand, putting it right onto Wilhemina’s heart, listening to her heartbeat. You often did that when you were anxious or nervous, her steady heartbeat always calmed you down. And you always felt so privileged being allowed to touch her, while nobody else was allowed to. 

“You are doing amazing, keep breathing okay?” she whispers. 

And after a while you just lunged forward, practically jumping into Wilhemina’s arms. Holding her close. “I am sorry Mina, for not telling you and for not using the safe word. I know it isn’t your fault completely,” you say. 

“No, I am sorry. I didn’t check up on you enough and I just let it go. I am sorry Y/A. Please forgive me. It’s okay if you need a break from all of this, from me,” Wilhemina says, with the smallest voice you ever heard from her. 

“No, no. Don’t leave me, I need you,” you say immediately. You cannot even fathom the idea of ever being without Mina ever again. 

“It’s okay you are okay, we are going to be okay,” Wilhemina says not yet tightening her grip around you because she is still kind of scared, scared of scaring you. 

“Mina?” 

“Hmm sweetheart?” 

“Can you hold me tighter?” you ask. 

“Of course, darling, but tell me if you need a break,” she responses. 

Wilhemina holds you close, giving you head kisses over and over again, the softest kisses you have ever felt. 

“Y/N?” she breaks the silence after a couple of minutes. 

“Hmm?” you response. 

“You don’t have to work there anymore sweet girl,” Mina says seriously. 

“What do you mean?” you ask confused. 

“Why don’t you finally move in with me and focus on your research?” 

You look up, confused. “I can’t Mina, I can’t just live off your money.” 

“And I love you for that, but sweetheart, enough is enough, alright? You can find a new job, without stressing for once and find something you actually like, not just something that pays the bills.” 

“I thought you really liked your own space?” you teased. 

“I like my own space with you in it, Y/N.” 

“I can’t make you do that for me Mina,” you insisted. 

“I am not doing anything Y/N. I know that you are the only person who would never use me for money, and I trust you.” 

Wilhemina always worked hard for her money, she never spent it on anything useless, especially when the medical bills were already pretty high, but she was always saving her money. And knowing that, knowing how much she trusted you, well that was the biggest and most magical thing, Wilhemina trusted nobody, she didn’t let anybody in at all, but you, you had your heart and she had yours, completely. 

“Ms. Venable you are getting soft on me.” 

Wilhemina rolled her eyes, truth is, she was soft around you, and she knew it. 

“Are you okay now baby girl?” she asks. 

“Yeah, I am sorry again for earlier,” you answer. 

“Again, no need to be sorry, I am the one who is sorry,” she insists. 

You lean up and kiss her, actually kiss her to show her that you are not scared or mad at her.  
“I love you, Mina.” 

“I love you Y/N.” 

You stomach suddenly growls and you blush. 

“Are you hungry my love?” 

You nod, “I haven’t eaten since yesterday,” you say. 

“Y/N… get dressed, I will make you some food.” 

“Alright Ms. Venable,” you tease. 

You both get up, you put a shirt over your head and Wilhemina puts her perfect purple nightgown on. And you both head off to the kitchen. You will be okay. You both will be okay. You have each other after all.

**Author's Note:**

> It's the first time I am writing Reader/You fan fiction, so I hope it wasn't too word??!! I kinda felt off writing it to be honest haha
> 
> But I love reading Wilhemina x Reader fan fiction, so I tried. I really tried. 
> 
> And boy, do I love Wilhemina Venable... ops.


End file.
